While I was in high school and the beginning of my college years, I always heard the importance of dating a “Christian man”. So in high school and college, I did just that. I flirted, talked or “vibed” with Christian men. However, they did not reflect Christ at all. Yes, they came to church with me, they didn’t curse, or party hard, or drink, but lacked forgiveness or being gracious. Instead, they fed my jealous insecurities, reminded me of my past mistakes in disagreements, and pushed the boundaries any chance they got. It wasn’t until I met my sweet Husband (hey darling) did I really understand the importance of understanding the difference between a Christian man and a man with Godly characteristics.
The following are a few pointers of the difference between the two, and are by no means a complete list
1. A godly man has walked with the Lord long enough to realize that being a Christ follower is not just an appearance thing. Rather, it is a lifestyle and they have a real relationship with the Lord. The evidence is in how they live their daily life. A boy thinks being a Christian is an appearance, where you do all the right things, but not push the boundaries too far.
2. A godly man treats you well because you are beautiful, enough, and worthy to be treated well. A boy treats you well when it benefits him. Boys are self-seeking, while a godly man is selfless, looking out for your heart and well-being.
3. A man knows the boundaries while in courtship. A man knows that true love waits and that it is a sacrifice and a commitment. A boy does sweet things, and says words like “I love you” ” you’re the only one” to push towards sexual immorality or another agenda that self-serving. I godly man is self-control, he would not put himself in a situation that will hinder your holiness.
4. A godly man understands the importance of being in the WORD and listening to the Holy Spirit. It is important for him to be mentored and willing to learn from older (spiritually) godly men. A boy makes decisions without seeking wisdom from the guidance that the Lord has put in place for us. A boy believes and leans on his own understanding.
5. A man with godly characteristics will encourage you to work on your insecurities the right way by understanding that your identity is rooted in Christ. A boy will use your insecurities to manipulate you. A godly man will encourage you, guide you, and direct you to the feet of Christ to overcome your insecurities and find your identity because he knows Christ is the only one who fulfills.
6. A godly man will not string you along in confusion and leave you wondering what is happening in the relationship. Instead, he will make his intentions clear, will not play with your heart because he will have to face the Lord Jesus Christ. He will be honest and mindful of your heart and emotions.
7. A godly man knows that change only happens when you invest time in your relationship with the Lord. A boy will think that he can fix his own problems and change on his own will.
Beloved, I hope when you are looking for a man, you find a man with Godly Characteristics. A man who does not want to waste your time, emotions, and energy. But instead one who pursues you for the purpose of having a future with you. Do not settle or compromise your values for the sake of having a man. You are lovely and worth of a Godly man.