5 Ways to See Singleness As Beautiful

A few months ago I was driving from work and listening to the radio the song “Tell me you love me” by Demi Lovato was playing. I was hyped and enjoying the song and I was like yassss Demi girl sing it. But then the song went to this line where it said “you ain’t nobody till you got somebody.” Instantly I was offended, I was very taken back by the words and slowly I realized that there are so many people out there who are listening to these types of songs. These “types” of songs tell people over and over again that they need to have someone to matter, to feel important, and to feel beautiful or handsome.

No shade to Demi, she got a great voice, she killing it in her career, and that’s amazing and wonderful for her. But high-key, when it comes to music that does not speak life or uplift you, the enemy is using those songs to speak lies upon lies to your life. He can use those songs to break you down piece by piece and even doubt who you are and make you start chasing after temporary worldly things if you are not careful.

For example, if I was single, a little insecure, and I haven’t had a boo in a while this song will make me feel like I need a significant other to feel worthy, to even have purpose in this life. Beloved it is so important to know your identity in the Lord. But, not only know your identity, know the Lord’s truth in your life. When the enemy decides to attack he is not going to give you a warning shot, instead he is going to attack from every vulnerable spot in your heart that is left wide open.

I remember long before Nathan and I were married, he dumped me (To be honest I would have dumped me too). I had zero communication skills, I didn’t know how to treat him well, nor did I want to learn. When I was dumped, it turned out to be a wonderful thing as well because I was able to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I fully threw myself into the Father’s arms and let him lead me through the difficult season. When our dating/courtship ended, men came from every directions, EVEN HIGH SCHOOL EX’S. Thank the Lord I knew that Nathan was my husband and that there was no one out there for me (That I would prefer or want). I am not going to lie, it was hard to be like “oh hey there Johnny! Oh you still look fine. No, No I can’t date you again.” It was hard to say no. However, I knew in my heart that there was no one else out there for me and I also knew that I if was to date just to date I was going to mess up the things the Lord was going to do in my life during the time I was single.

This brings me to my point, BEING SINGLE is not a curse, a bad thing, or a problem, also being single does not mean you are not beautiful enough either.  Let me repeat that one more time, SINGLENESS IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. Why is it beautiful you ask?

  1. Your attention is fully focused on the Lord. Your heart won’t be divided.
  2. You get to really know yourself. I think a lot of people just get in relationships just because everyone else is doing it.
  3. Financially you get to worry about yourself instead of another human that you have to feed. (currently going through this, lol)
  4. You get to make decisions like traveling without worrying or getting permission to do so. You guys, traveling for two people is crazy expensive.
  5. Finally, honestly singleness is a gift from the Lord. When you are single, I know that you do the most in a different way for the kingdom. Example: Look at homeboy Paul.

One of my favorite psalms is Psalms 63, the whole chapter. One verse really speaks to me. Verse 3 says “because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” This verse personally for me says that even though being married is nice, above all things HIS LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE. His love is better than being booed up (dating) or being married or accomplishing the most recognized award in the world.

So I say, be Booed up with Jesus. Let him fulfill your inner most being. Let him take you on dates and beautiful adventures that no human brain can ever think of. Say yes to being courted by Jesus if you feel like you are missing out on this whole dating thing. I promise you, by the end of it, your identity and life will not be built on marriage, dating, or any relationship. Your identity will flow from Him, your heart will be filled by Him. Seek Him first with all of your heart and you will realize He is all you need whether you are single or married. Take advantage of being single and have fun where you are, rather than thinking about what you do not have or where you are not at in life.

With grace and love, -Winnie.


10 thoughts on “5 Ways to See Singleness As Beautiful

  1. Liz Giertz

    Such an important topic! I’m an Army wife and my hubby’s deployments have been time of some of the greatest spiritual growth I’ve ever experienced! Thanks for putting a positive spin on something society takes so negatively! Blessings!


  2. Thanks for the encouraging word. We often try to find our identity and meaning in other things, including whether we have someone else in our lives. Because others around can inadvertently give off the message that once you’re with someone, then you finally are significant, it’s easy to buy into that lie.

    Tim Keller talks in his book “Counterfeit gods” about how we can make relationships an idol and believe that only once we have someone, now we will finally matter or finally be of worth. Taking that attitude into a relationship can be disastrous however, as we can end up crushing them with the weight of our expectation because we expect them to be our everything. And of course, no human can fully meet that need and will inevitably disappoint.

    It’s natural to desire relationships, as we were made for that, but we need to go into a relationship as a whole person, and not think in terms of the other person completing you. Even the language of being a person’s “other half” contributes to that sense of being incomplete without someone else.


  3. Joy

    Thank you so much. I am struggling with singleness this past few weeks to the point that I get jelous of my best friends love life. I tend to self pity and say only if i was petite like her guys would notice me. But, I know this thinking is a lie and its from the enemy. I know God loves me so much and he has great plans for me. If His will is for me to be single then may His will be done and I pray that I can accept whatever His will for me wholeheartedly.

    Thank you again and God bless


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