4 Easy Steps For The Christian Girl Who Is Not Doing Okay

I don’t know about you, but I have had many times throughout my 6-7 years of being independent from my parents that I have not felt okay. Times where when someone asked me how I was doing, my respond would be I am okay. But really, I wanted to scream from the bottom of my heart that I am confused, doubtful and totally lost.

Recently for a good week, I cried myself to sleep. It’s not that I was unhappy or that my life sucks. But because I didn’t know what was going on in my mind and in my heart. I know many times the Lord would gently poke me and asks me to talk to him, to share my thoughts and what I was thinking. But my respond was to hide because I was ashamed that I was not okay and perfect in the presence of the LORD.

Somewhere in my brain I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wasn’t okay. I didn’t want to admit that I am a Christian who is not okay. Why? Because we live in a Christian world where we must have it all together. And if we don’t have it together then we must of done something that made The Lord mad and he is punishing us. And we remember, the words that most people say when things go wrong, “well you must not have enough faith.” But in reality that is not true. The Lord delights in our brokenness, in our mess. Because, in the midst of our mess we are vulnerable and are willing to listen and to be transformed.

I remember in the beginning of my college career, I pretended that I was good. That I had everything together, was perfect and didn’t not need any help from the Lord at all. But by the second semester the Lord knocked me down a few steps and reminded me that even though I had wisdom and knowledge I still knew nothing. Instead I needed to abide in him so that I can live. Throughout that semester I was depressed, I didn’t have friends and I was not aware of what the Lord was doing in my life. Soon enough I realized that I did not need to face the Lord completely put together. But instead, I just needed to go to him. I need to lay on his feet and let him cuddle me, comfort me and tell me that he is doing something great and I just need to trust him.

One of my favorite verses when I am confused and just need a little encouragement is Psalm 34:18 which says “ The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.”
whattt!! How insane and beautiful is it that the Lord literally says he is near the brokenhearted and that he is ready and willing to rescue those who are crushed inspirit. The creator and savior of the universe, is ready to enter into your mess with you. He doesn’t want to sit on the sidelines. But he wants to be your partner. This verse reminds me that it’s okay to be a daughter or a son of the Lord and still not be okay. He still delights in me when I am lost and confused. He still wants me. I am still a sweet aroma to him.

So if you are experienced shame in not being okay as a Christian, here are a few steps to help you realize that you are not defined by what you do but by being and resting in the Lord.

  1. First know that shame and guilt is from the Devil. When you are not feeling okay and your identity in Christ is being attacked know that that is the enemy coming for you. He knows what you can do and he is going straight into your foundation and that is you identity and purpose.
  2. Have a few scriptures ready, have that accountability partner ready who you can talk to about what is going on in your life and who can point you to the feet of Jesus!!
  3. Community is important. Have a group of gals or guys who can pray for you; who can fight for you because they want to see you thrive.
  4. Lastly, be still. Ask the father what he has for you. 100% of the time he wants you to talk to him. He wants to speak life, truth and love into your heart. So take time to sit at his feet and hear from him

Some of my favorite verses from the New Testament is when Jesus wakes up early in the morning and  takes time away from everyone with his disciples to have time of solitary and enjoy being in the presence of the Father. Most of the times, alone time in the father’s presence is all you need for you to know exactly what he wants from him. So learn to take time to seek him and know that he is not ashamed of you. But instead he is happy that you are there with him. The Lord loves you beloved. Don’t forget where your identity comes from!

You are going to be okay. -Winnie



17 thoughts on “4 Easy Steps For The Christian Girl Who Is Not Doing Okay

  1. thank you so much for a lovely post. I have recently been conflicted on how to get into Gods presence when I am down but I have learnt that you don’t need any preparations to go into Gods presence, he wants you as you are, broken, messed up because he wants you just as you are; he is willing and ready to fix whatsoever might be the problem. its okay to not be okay because we have a father who is ready to change our situation and make all our worries go away.



  2. onelostcoin

    I love how you identify that the enemy is going straight for your identity. If he knows he can’t get you away from God, he will instead make you question yourself instead of your God. These are excellent tips, especially having an accountability partner!


  3. Thank you for sending me the link to this post from Instagram. I am blessed and honored to find you online. This article is very comforting, but also brings up my greatest pain: the absence in my life of any prayer-friends. I have put so much effort into making friends at churches over the 4 years I’ve known Jesus, and it’s always the same: either they don’t share my desperate need for God and fall away from the friendship because they’re intimidated by my intensity for Jesus, or they’re already a mature Christian who chooses to stop associating with me because my desperation for Jesus comes from a place of not having freedom from the tangible consequences of sin. Just because Jesus forgave me did not automatically make the tangible consequences disappear. I have had an ongoing battle to get out of isolation but so far I have not succeed, as the strongholds the enemy had in me were used against me ten times over to make sure that I either have a way to get to church but am sleeping with a man for shelter, or I have shelter in a safe place with no men but also no churches within walking or bike or bus distance or no transportation at all. I live in the middle of nowhere with no car and am totally under the control of my family that does not share my faith and zeal. My only connection to God is prayer, the Bible, YouTube and the internet. I have never had a healthy church family ever since first being saved. I have never had freedom. At first I was living in literal slavery, totally dependent on a drug dealer who supported me after my family kicked me out, and then when I was saved I went into a Christian rescue shelter and was shocked that the holy spirit was quenched there and the house was filled with vile cursed movies, books, idols and objects. Left again and tried to be homeless so I could go to church freely on foot and by bus, but when I accepted a job offer, I had a few hours to get a shower before my first day so I fell back into the trap of sin by going to a man’s house to take a shower. He let me live with him and drive his car to take myself to church, but he did not let me say no to sex. I left again, pursuing purity, and tried to seek shelter from my family, but they were opposed to my faith and angry that I had given up the car and refused to help with transportation, again far in the country with no way to get to my job or church. I lost my job obviously and set out again homeless trying to find God’s provision anywhere safe with both church AND purity. To no avail. Finally after many more instances of this ongoing battle I have now been trapped again in soulties and strongholds and isolation and no transportation at all and no Christians in my life. Have never ever ever had the opportunity to grow as a new Christian in a safe home and safe community of believers, but have ONLY experienced sin that I could not get away from because all of my efforts to get purity AND a roof over my head AND a way to get to church AND at least ONE FRIEND who is a strong Christian influence, has failed, every time, the entire time I’ve known Jesus. I cry myself to sleep often and keep telling DADDY God to please redeem my testimony from the disgrace that it brings to his name. I made bold declarations to my pagan / wiccan family of how purity is more important than transportation or shelter and that I trusted my God to provide for my basic survival needs. And he did not. So I am just saying, if anyone wants to actually help me out of isolation and traps by actually JOINING me in prayer instead of condemning and judging and avoiding me or trying to glorify me as if my desperation for God makes me holier-than-thou, PLEASE connect with me if the holy spirit guides you to. I have given up completely on the hope of fellowship and discipleship and cry constantly because I have a car that is in my name that is in the possession of a man who will give it to me but I can’t figure out how to get it from him safely without giving him an opportunity to rape me again. I have no support from the body of Christ and no one in my family approves of my faith in Jesus. Every environment that I have lived in is corrupted with paganism, witchcraft, lack of transportation, or sex without marriage. Often homelessness sounds like a better option, but I am just as likely to get raped on the streets and feel safer in my family’s home surrounded by cursed objects. How, without a prayer buddy or intercessors or total obedience by destroying the idols and curses (which I cannot do because it is not my house), am I ever supposed to get freedom from the spiritual warfare? My only consolation is knowing that the enemy would not hate me so much as to make my life such a miserable failure if I did not have such a strong anointing to be a prophetic worship intercessor. Please guys!! Girls, preferably!!! hmu. IG @biblesnippets and @bhoneyart and @brizpekt or gmail is pankratzbrianne . Thank you… God bless everyone in Jesus name… FATHER in the name of Jesus Please bind up the forces of darkness from NOT being able to use the information in this post to cause further destruction. And please please please set me free and give me the prayer language so I can obey your word in Ephesians 6 to pray in the spirit. Amen.


  4. So crazy how the enemy uses shame to isolate and separate us from God. So glad God pursues you and your eyes were open to see what he was doing around you. What the enemy uses for evil God will use for good (Gen. 50:20).


  5. I remember feeling this way and worse so many times in my early adulthood and it was hard but I didn’t have what you have, The Lord! It almost brings me to tears to think, how much I would have loved the whisper of the Lord with me on those nights I fell asleep crying. You are blessed! Your experiences will speak to many young women of how good God is and how we are actually not alone when we have God. Great post!!


  6. God bless you in your faith. You don’t have to be perfect, because Jesus was perfect, and when God sees us, He sees Jesus in us. I will be praying that your faith, and trust in our amazing Heavenly Father just keeps growing and growing.


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