So I was hanging out with my friend “Susie” at my house one night and I got a message from another friend about her husband and wanting babies. The way my friend said it was funny and I was cracking up. Automatically I started telling Susie what my other friend told me and how funny I thought it was. Once I finished telling Susie the story, she didn’t laugh like I expected her too. Instead she responded with “ I don’t understand, because I am not married.” Long story short she shared how she is tired about the things married people tell single people. So the following are things single people don’t like to hear from married people.
- HAVE YOU PRAYED ABOUT IT? If your friend is a believer who loves and trusts the Lord. You better believe they have at some point talked to the Lord about dating and their single life. Not only have they prayed about it, but they struggle about wanting that validation from having a relationship.
- “SO, ARE YOU DATING ANYONE” If you are a friend and you are asking, know that if your friend was dating you would know about it. He/she will let you know. So if they haven’t told you, then they most likely aren’t dating anyone. Many single people dislike hearing this every time they are around married people.
- “DON’T WORRY, YOU’LL FIND THE RIGHT PERSON EVENTUALLY” First of all, they ain’t worried. They are not walking around with the sign “ I am single, therefore I am worried.” Instead they are enjoying their day to day like anybody else. They face struggles and obstacles like anybody else. Being single is not something to worry about, its not a sin.
- “DON’T YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS?” Haha! Just because someone is single, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to have kids. singleness does not equal not desiring a family.
- “HOW’S THE SINGLE LIFE?” Just like any other life! How is the married life?- Susie
- “MAYBE YOU’RE TOO PICKY” If a brotha or a sista is single, sometimes it is because they are in a place where they are happy with the season they are in. And sometimes maybe they have things to work on and don’t want to mess with anyone. But most times for my friends who love the Lord and have a real relationship with him, it is hard finding a person who walks with the Lord wholeheartedly. Susie: but if I am picky! They should call me picky patty
- ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE? What does this even mean? This is such an open ended question. Dating is not like calling for a taxi to see if they are available. Instead, dating is going day to day enjoying life. If a brotha or sista happens to see you and is interested then they ask you out on a date and see how things go from there. If a single person was really looking for someone they would be in every dating site, at every stop sign with ” I am looking for a date” sign. Nobody wants to do that. So no they are not looking; single people are just living life just like you and me till someone crosses their path.
- “CAN I PLAY MATCHMAKER” I am guilty of this to all my sweet friends! I would like to say I am sorry. Mainly because I know you are smart, kind, beautiful and capable of finding your own date on your own time. So the answer depends on if your friend asks if you know or have a friend who is single. Offer with discernment.
- “JUST KEEP PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE AND YOU’LL FIND THE RIGHT PERSON” You don’t see a ring on the finger, no social media post about BAE. How much more “keep putting yourself out there” can a single person be.
- “WHEN YOU ARE READY, GOD WILL SEND THE RIGHT PERSON” This statement is so wrong in so many levels because it sends the message that there is something that the person is not doing or there is something wrong with the person and that is why the Lord has not sent them their person. In reality it is “ WHEN THE LORD’S TIMING IS RIGHT AND READY HE WILL SEND YOU THE RIGHT PERSON”
I hope you enjoyed this read and will try your best not to ask your single friends these types of questions.
with Grace and Love,