I remember being captivated by butterflies when I was little. I loved how they were so effortlessly beautiful and free. Wherever they flew I always ran as fast as I could to catch them, I guess I wanted that beauty for myself. I remember, one day watching intently as a monarch butterfly landed on a flower in front of me. I crouched down and slowly reached out a shaky hand, and as fast as I could, I closed my hand around this beautiful creature. I was so excited to have finally caught one of the most beautiful things that I had only ever had glimpses of.
I opened my hand slowly, anxious to awe at my prize. But my excitement quickly faded when I opened my clenched fist to reveal the butterfly lying still in the palm of my hand. I remember poking at it, trying to wake it up, and then I saw it- a broken wing. I remember frantically trying to put the butterfly back together and ended up placing it back on it’s flower hoping that would erase the damage I’d done. I later learned that if a butterfly ever breaks its wings, it will never fly again.
Thinking about it now, this is how I can best explain my story.
I was free, a beautiful happy growing girl until people that I trusted most, made choices that eventually broke my wings. I was separated from my family, my mom, and my brothers between three and four. My mom’s battle against substance abuse and the physical abuse I experienced by her boyfriend at the time, eventually led to child services intervening. After being separated from my home, I was put into the system for a little while where I experienced sexual abuse and a disheartening separation from a family I really loved and became attached to. After that, I was placed with my paternal grandmother who selflessly took me in and raised me up in a Godly home.
Everything was great for a while, but as I got older, my scars started to take control of the very forefront of my life.
My dad played a big part in my life at the very start, but then as I got older, I saw less and less of him. And the promises he made to take me home with him began to carry less and less weight. Somewhere along the way, I started to let my brokenness define me. I thought that because of all the loss and pain I’d experienced at such a young age, that it had to be my fault. I must have been a bad kid. And this is what became my label up until high school.
So I made poor choices that put a strain on my grandmother and I’s relationship. My home then became a place that felt like a warzone. Always filled with arguments and frustration. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. So, I graduated early to escape. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to escape the labels, the pain, the brokenness.
But, I quickly learned that by running away from your problems, you end up running smack into them.
Which is exactly what happened in my first semester of college. Coming from a strict household, the freedom of college was like a candy store, and I indulged-in everything. The parties, drinking, sexual promiscuity, all of it.
But then one day I woke up and I just remember crying. I felt so lonely, so ashamed, so broken. Again.
I remembering asking God to make me whole. I didn’t want to live my life the way i was living anymore. I didn’t want to live out of pain and brokenness because I knew that it was only making things worse. So, I started to pursue God in private again. Praying to him and listening to worship music, trying to reconnect with His love and mercy.
And slowly but surely God started to restore me. He started placing people in my life that cultivated my relationship with Him. He placed someone in my life whom I respect and love so deeply, and one day hope to marry( now married).
It seemed the more steps I took towards him the more Jesus healed me.
He even reconnected me back with my siblings (who I hadn’t seen in 12 years) and they have become such an important part of my life. I never could have imagined that by taking that one step towards God that my life would completely change. And of course, I still struggle with things like self-doubt, insecurities, depression, and fear of abandonment- I’m not by any means, perfect. I’m still growing, and learning, I mean after all, I’m only 19. But I can honestly say that because Jesus caught me in the palm of His hand… I can fly again.
With grace and mercy i hope this inspires you to trust the Lord to mold and shape you to look like his son.
-Anastasia Franklin
Me Anastasia C. Franklin, she is the founder of @herfaithinspired a Lifestyle Christian Blog. She is 19 years old, married to Stanley Franklin Jr. If she is not working hard producing content for www.herfaithinspired.com. Then you can find her studying hard, spending time with friends, family and husband. You can keep up with her on instagram: @anastasiacurrier. Check her out, she is absolutely stunning inside and out.
Beautifully written, raw and honest. I love the butterfly metaphor. Thanks for sharing so openly!
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The writer did any amazing job sharing her story!
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So incredibly beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad Jesus “catches” us. I pray God continues to bless you in writing! Such a blessing this post was.
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The writer truly did an amazing job expressing her thoughts and experiences! So glad you well touched by it!
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Butterflies are a symbol of resurrection, 2 Corinthians 5:17. Our new life is hidden and we need the Holy Spirit to guide us into it.
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Amen!!
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This post is beautiful! I feel like nature is such a special reminder of God’s creation in our every day adventures. Thanks for sharing this sweet message!
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Amen! So glad it spoke to you!
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Amen 🙏🏽 loved reading this story of the freedom found in the Lord Jesus
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She did an amazing job!
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This made my heart soar as I read it. God has given me my wings back to fly. He has restored my brokenness from years of abuse as a child, rape and domestic violence.
Thank you for sharing
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Amen for the father’s faithfulness in rescuing, restoring and redeeming us! What a joy!
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Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. I am pinning this to my “Inspiring Faith Stories” board.
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Wow amen! The sweet guest post did an amazing job!
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Our God is in the business of restoration!
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Amen to that!
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So inspired by her story. Ugh even got revelation in the first part of God’s love toward us ❤️
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Her story is so freaking powerful!
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Beautiful testimony! The writer did a wonderful job! Blessed to have been able to read it!
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She read did. She is a beautiful soul!
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Wow this really hit home for me thank you for sharing . I really needed this
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Woow! So amazingly wonderful to hear that! I am glad it blessed you!
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This is such a beautifully written testimony!
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It’s it! Like wow!
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The words that stood out the most to me in this post was, “because Jesus caught me in the palm of His hand… I can fly again.” I grew up fatherless, and experienced sexual abuse by a family member in my earlier childhood. It warms heart to see JESUS healing us through our brokenness and giving us wisdom. Wisdom to allow him to fix all the brokenness and bring us joy. I am so happy that I can across your blog in the christian womens bloggers unite group. Your story is both inspiring and empowering.
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Woow! I love how one story can connect with another person! Beautiful!
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Thank you for sharing! This is such a beautiful story. Jesus saves and He heals. Amen!
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He sure does! Amen amen!
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This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your testimony!
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The writer did an amazing job sharing her story!
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